For the last four years, I have taken T to see Santa Claus. For the last three years, I have failed to get an actual photograph of my child smiling while anywhere in proximity to the “jolly” man.
Last year, he babbled on and on about being so excited to see Santa. When it was his turn at the front of the line, he froze. He didn’t want to have anything to do with that weird man wanting him to sit on his lap.
I get it. Santa is a little weird.
I don’t remember ever believing in Santa. Maybe my mom will tell you otherwise, but as far back as I can remember, I have just known that it was all a story.
This year, I told T (who turned 5 this October) the truth. I told him that Santa was not an actual person who would be coming down our non-existent chimney to leave presents under the Christmas tree.
I told him that Santa was a character in a story, but that the spirit of Santa is something we should remember during the holiday season. I told him that this season is all about celebrating the people we love and helping out others who are in need. I told him that it’s not about the presents, but about the giving.
I am not a religious person. Sometimes this makes me feel a little strange about celebrating Christmas (note the “Christ”). But, really, December is a holiday all on it’s own. Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Festivus (what?), and then we wrap it all up by ringing in the new year. Even though part of me would love to be a little grinch, I can’t help but enjoy this time of year.
We celebrate the year that is ending, and the year that is beginning. We celebrate our family and our friends. We celebrate what we have, and we give to those who do not.
And while there are some traditions I hold on to (for example, we have a Christmas tree with ornaments that hold reminders of our family and our lives), Santa is one I choose to do without.
Regardless of your beliefs, how do you talk to your children about Santa Claus?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our new writer in Nevada and single-mom of one, Unintentionally Brilliant. You can find more of her writing on her personal blog, Unintentionally Brilliant.
Photo credit to Bart Fields. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Roxanne (USA)
Roxanne is a single mother to a 9-year-old superhero (who was born 7 weeks premature), living in the biggest little city and blogging all about her journey at Unintentionally Brilliant. She works as a Program Coordinator for the NevadaTeach program at the University of Nevada, Reno. Roxanne has a B.A. in English from Sierra Nevada College. She has about 5 novels in progress and dreams about completing one before her son goes to high school.
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My wife and I have just been discussing this in regards to our 2-year-old. I’m in favor of telling her “stories” of Santa, whereas my wife wants her to experience the whole belief in the fat guy. I joke (tongue-in-cheek) that I’m going to spill the beans while she’s young, but I’m sure we’ll compromise before then.
It is important to find a compromise. I guess I’m a little lucky, in that I get to make all the decisions regarding my son. 🙂
Oh I can so relate to trying to get a picture with Santa. Funniest part is my son complained when he saw Santa last year and it freaked him out because Santa is not ‘white’ like in the movies but very much Indonesian dressed up as Santa. LOL. Growing up here in Indonesia we knew Santa is not real too so it wasn’t a big deal. Kudos to you! 🙂
Thank you! That is a funny little story. I’m curious how you explained the difference to your son?
My husband and I have also discussed Santa this way with our children. My question for you- I worry my children may discuss this with other children and “spoil it” for them. Have you discussed this with your son? That is the only thing I worry about….
Actually, we just went through something like that. We were at T’s holiday program at school, and Santa came for a visit. T was perplexed. He kept whispering, “But Santa’s not *real*.” I told him that it’s okay for the other kids to believe, and that he should let them. It’s a difficult situation, for sure, but it just continues the tradition of honesty. Just explaining right away that it’s okay for others to believe, and that he can pretend Santa is real if he wants to. And that’s exactly what he did.
We’ve told our oldest daughter that Santa is like a character in a book. Then, when we asked her if she wanted to believe, she thought about it and said, “Yes.” So, we’ve been going along with it. I don’t want her to feel like I’ve lied to her, and at this age, once she put her mind to it, she believes!
Thanks for sharing this story with us Rox!
Jen 🙂
I like that you gave her a choice. Thanks for reading, Jen.
the thing is that in modern world many people forget that the character of Santa came from a real person, 4th century saint and a Greek Bishop, Nikolaos of Myra (known as Saint Nicholas).
So in my opinion when trying to explain to kids that Santa (the North Pole Santa) doesn’t exist it’s good to start from the story of Saint Nicholas… who he was, and why the character of Santa was created based on his life. It’s a great lesson of history and religiouse studies in one 🙂
We’re Jewish so no problem here. LOL
The power of Santa has become more interesting this year as big girl has turned 4 (little girl at 2 is still too little). For the first time, this year, big girl has wanted to write a letter to Santa and stood by him and clearly told him what she wanted for Christmas (which is thankfully consistent and affordable). Eventually she, too, will know the truth – but for now we are basking in the magic of the season. Plus, when she is doing something wrong, it is an easy out to just say “Santa knows if you are being good or bad”. And to hit that message home a little further, we just discovered “the elf on the shelf”.
I appreciate your honesty with your son. I truly believe in treating children like equals (to a degree). Just remind him not to “spoil” it for others 🙂
I have never discussed “Santa” with my daughter as something that was true. I told here that Reindeer do not fly and there is no Santa. I told her that Moms and Dads go out and buy gifts to share with others. People dress up in red and wear white beards and pretend to be somebody that’s made up.
Here’s a poem I wrote:
The Greatest Gift
Not wrapped in
fancy gift wrappings,
but wrapped in
swaddling clothes:
Not laid beneath
a Christmas tree,
but in a manger
low;
Not given by
a man in red,
but by the Lord
to me…
Jesus is
the greatest gift
that there shall
ever be.
Constance Walden
http://ablog4souls.wordpress.com/
Constance, We are happy to have so many different religions and beliefs represented by our writers and readers around the world, and we get excited to showcase all of them. Thank you for stopping by to share your belief, too!
Jen 🙂
Thanks for sharing. It was interesting to hear your struggles with Santa as a self-described “non-religious” person. Check out this struggle with Santa from a religious person for completely different reasons: http://emilyelizabethstone.com/2011/12/14/why-i-let-my-children-play-with-elves/
This is the exact conversation that I have had recently. Up until this year my son (who’s 5) never even mentioned Santa. I have told my son that we are Jewish and that Santa is a fabrication for children who celebrate Christmas. He told me i was wrong (he was certain of this) and that even though we are Jewish, we celebrate Christmas with his grandmother and that Santa absolutely exists and lives in the North Pole (and when he saw him on a cartoon, said “see there he is!”). My husband, thinks that Santa has nothing to do with religion and is a nice story to make the holiday season magical and fun. I decided to let him “believe” that Santa exists, although he knows the truth (I am concerned that he would “ruin” it for any of his friends who do believe in Santa). He knows that any gifts that are exchanged over the next few weeks are from friends and family, not from a jolly, red man.
As a follower of Christ, I will tell my children that Christmas is not about Santa, but about the birth of Christ. I believe while the kids are younger “Santa” can be fun, but I will now allow that to be the center of the season. I will teach them it is about the Gospel.