I stared at the email I received a week ago. Todayโs the last day to make my decision but I might have missed the deadline. I wasnโt too sure – should the cut off time be based on US time while Iโm here on the other side of the world? I could have checked, but…
Anyway, that didn’t matter. The fact was, at that very last-minute, I was still feeling unsure about my decision.
So, as I often do in such situations, I said a silent prayer.
Then I clicked on the link and waitedโฆ A new window opened.
I looked at the screen;ย peace descended upon me. The screen is still there. I knew right then what I needed to do.
*******
Three days ago, I renewed my membership with the Association of Image Consultants International (AICI).
You see, Iโm trained as an image consultant but itโs something that I never really told many people about. When I first decided to get trained, I thought I would set up an image business. Then I got pregnant and decided to shelf the plan until after I gave birth. Never did I anticipate how busy being a mom would be, especially a first-time mom, and juggling my writing projects as a freelance writer (something that I have been doing way before I became mom).
But soon, โbusyย mommyโ became a facade I hid behind. While I did make some feeble attempts to build a business, the truth is, somehow, somewhere along the way, Iโve lost the zeal and worse, the confidence.
Yet as I watch my son grow, I find myself thinking more and more often about the kind of person I hope he will become: I want him to have the freedom to discover and develop his strengths and talents. I want him not to be afraid to try and know that itโs alright to fail, because failures can make him stronger and wiser. I want him to have the courage to pursue his dreams and passions and to live life to the fullest.
To enable him to achieve all of this, I felt that I first need to lead the way and be the role model for him.
So this year, I resolve to stop putting off my dreams and instead to take steps of faith in achieving them. I will get out of my comfort zone, learn to conquer my fears and stop worrying so much. Even if at the end of the day I donโt succeed, itโs alright. What matters is that I have the courage to try, enjoy the process and learn from the experience.
For a start, I hope to get something going with the image consulting. Honestly, I have no firm plans but there are things I could start, such as helping some friends revamp their wardrobe, blog about style and image or perhaps find opportunities to write for womenโs magazines and websites on related topics.
More importantly, as a woman, I want to reconnect with my dreams and passion and pursue goals that are not entirely child-related. I’ve learned that, unless Iโm fulfilled as an individual, I will never be truly happy as a mom.
I pray that someday when my boy is all grown up, he will tell me that Iโve set a good example for him in living life passionately. That, I believe, will be one of my greatest achievements as a mom.
Have you held back on going after your dreams because you’re a mom? Or do you feel that becoming a mom gives you greater motivation to pursue your dreams?ย
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer, rising-image-consultant and mother of one in Singapore, Ruth Wong.
The image used in this post is attributed to Naypong from Free Digital Photos.
Oops – is the title meant to say “South Korea” instead of “Singapore?”
I think you are blessed in that you know what your dream is. I don’t, and I long for something. But it’s hard to leave the comfort of “hiding behind being a busy mom” when you don’t know what to run to.
I think sometimes we are so busy with being a mom, juggling work and other responsibilities that we forgot to make time for ourselves. I think the first step to know what our dreams are, what is we really want, is to make time to for ourselves. Start with looking at your interests, what fires you up. I hope you find your answer soon! And do share when you make that discovery! ๐
I recently accepted admittance to a grad school program. It feels like 13 years ago, when I got pregnant with my first, I put all my pieces down and now I am picking them all up and moving forward with my dreams. I regret putting the pieces down. I think I could have done both, but I felt like I was expected to put my life on hold to raise them. That is the message I received. Hindsight is 20/20. But, I learned from my error and feel like at least now I can teach my daughters to do different.
Congrats! I’m so excited for you on this new journey!! What course are you doing? You’ve devoted your time to your children, that’s a great thing you’ve done, and I’m sure your children will appreciate it! And now, the time has come for you to take your dream and run with it! All the best!
Thanks for sharing your experience and feelings. “To enable him to achieve all of this, I felt that I first need to lead the way and be the role model for him”. Very well said!
– bnchen.wordpress.com
Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed the article! ๐
What a great mom you are: “I want him to have the freedom to discover and develop his strengths and talents…to try and know that itโs alright to fail…to have the courage to pursue his dreams and passions and to live life to the fullest.” Leading by example is so important to our children. And I can really relate. I have the same fears as you do now that I’m trying to work again, but like you, there is a lot that I want to achieve. So let’s do it! Good luck!
Btw, I SO need an image consultant!
I forgot to add that I lived in Singapore for 7 years so if you have anything you’d like to promote for your new business, let me know and I will send it out to all my friends.
Thanks for the offer! I’ll let you know if I need help in spreading the word ๐ So have you found a new job or perhaps you intend to work from home? All the best in this new chapter! Do share with us here!
I just started looking for work which prompted me to start blogging again (http://dwharlow.wordpress.com/) as a way of resurrecting my ‘old’ self. When I write, it inspires me to stay on track with something, steering my mind towards what I want to achieve. Will definitely be sharing with WMB!
I think living abroad somewhere. I think being a mom is keeping me from doing that, but I’m getting to live vicariously through the World Mom Bloggers!
Good luck with this new chapter in your life, Ruth!!
Jen ๐
Thanks Jen! And you’re doing such a great job with WMB!! You’re craving out a very special space in the blogosphere and at the same time, you give us opportunities to participate in some really meaningful projects, it’s just wonderful!
Hi Ruth, this is a topic that’s close to my heart. I’ve been thinking about my personal goals and ambitions since early this year, and also consciously stepping out of my comfort zone, and like you said, removing the excuse of being a ‘busy mom’.
I guess as with any risk we take in life, we just need to focus on learning and growing through the process, and leave the outcome to God. I could sure use some help on my image btw – something I’ve let slide since parenthood. ๐
Hi June! I guess this is a topic close to many moms’ heart. I think a new year is a good time to start thinking about our goals and vision ๐ I like what you said about focusing on learning and growing through the process. Think many times I worry too much and end up being afraid to do what I had intended. Thanks for the reminder to just do it and trust in God for the outcome, so need that! If you have any questions on image/style, feel free to drop me a note, anytime!
beautiful and encouraging post. after my first one was born I was still thinking about starting my photography bussines… but year passed by and I felt like it’s still not the right time to do so… . Then I got pregnant with our second child and I knew that at this point I won’t be able to start anything for the next few years. I have a dreams and ambitions to be more than a SAHM but sometimes I feel ovewhelmed by the pressure of my own thoughts and ambitions and I’m afraid that by being a stay-at-home-mom for so long I might get too lazy or too afraid of new challenges… . Thinking about it is a little depressing.
Congrats on the No.2!! I do find myself thinking too much and worrying so unnecessarily about things that might or might not happen, that I shortchange myself with the chance to do something new, and to learn and grow through the process. In other words, I got afraid of failing that I didn’t dare try. So this year, I hope things will be different. I know with a second child coming, it’s gonna be hard to launch something. But when things are more settled, how about starting with some freelance projects? You don’t need to immediately start a business ๐ It’s a thought… ๐
I am too afraid of failing… and I think this is the main reason I haven’t tried harder to start something earlier. I always find a few reasons why I am not prepared, yet, or that I do not feel good enough, or do not have the right equipment. ugh… it’s always something ๐
I know that with the new baby I’m going to have a new model to photograph and practice my skills on, that for sure, and I’m planning to really focus on that. Thank you for your support!
I think you’ve sum it up nicely how all or most mothers feel. The need to do something for ourselves and at the same time, live for our kids too. And I think, when the time comes along, you will do the right thing. ๐
I think we moms are constantly trying to balance between caring for our families without compromising too much on our dreams and goals ๐ I hope I’ll just have the courage to do what I want to do!
Way to go, Ruth! This is inspirational and causing me to think more intently on my long term goals. Right now, I am happy at home with my 2 sons, but the day will come where I will need to have my own path, and I am not sure what it will be. Keep us posted on how it goes for you!
Thanks, Tara! Since having my boy, I’ve come to realise that being a mom is in itself a very important ‘job’ and definitely not an easy one! I pray that when time comes for you to take on a new pursuit besides mommyhood, you will have the knowing in your heart of what that path is and will find great fulfillment in it!