Several years ago while doing a monthly breast exam at home, I found a lump. This wasn’t exactly new to me, because ever since puberty, I pretty much have had benign lumps come and go.
As my doctor once told me, I’m “lumpy.” (What a morale boost for a young woman!).
So when I found this lump, I didn’t panic.
It was a week before my son’s 2nd birthday, and I had a lot of other things to take care of. I assumed I’d be in and out of my doctor’s office with the same “not a big deal” feedback I’ve always received.
But when my doctor stood over me quietly, I began to worry. He told me it was probably nothing, but I needed an ultrasound.
When a doctor who has been telling you it’s nothing for years switches to probably nothing, it gives you pause. It allows doubt to enter. It allows fear to enter.
I told myself all the things that they tell you to tell yourself: One day at a time. There is nothing to worry about…yet. Let’s just see what the tests say before getting worried.
But even with all of this positive self talk, I still launched into the “what if’s.” What if it’s not nothing? What if it’s malignant ? What if I die?
When I went in for the ultrasound, they told me they actually saw two lumps, one which was just a benign cyst and one that was probably (there’s that word again) a benign tissue cluster. It was too hard to confirm from the ultrasound, so they needed to take a tissue sample.
So at 31 years old, I had my first biopsy. While uncomfortable, it wasn’t the worst pain I have ever felt. I did give birth after all. It always helps to have labor to go back to as a benchmark.
It was a Wednesday afternoon, and they told me it should take a week to know the results. Luckily, I had an amazing, supportive doctor during this procedure. She put a rush on the tests. I got a call on Friday morning to let me know all was well.
The mass was benign and just need to be rechecked in 6 months for changes. If there were no changes, then I didn’t need to worry about it. This wonderful doctor told me she didn’t want me to have to go through the weekend without knowing that I was ok. I cried right then and there.
I took that phone call in a shopping mall, by the way. When I hung up, I went directly to buy a cute little black sweater that I had my eye on previously. I called it my “I don’t have cancer” sweater, and I wore it to my son’s 2nd birthday party the next day.
I felt so grateful that I was fine and could spend all my time and energy celebrating my sweet boy.
I had not thought of this experience much in recent years, but talking with a dear friend who just went through her own scare (and thankfully is also fine) brought it all back to me. It also reminded me that since having my second son 19 months ago, I can’t remember if I have done a single at home breast exam.
We all get busy, and we all have so much to take care of. We put out children’s needs first. Money is also tight, and many people do not have affordable healthcare. But it’s so important to do what we can for ourselves.
For those of us living comfortably with access to quality information and healthcare resources, we need to not waste them. Those who are comfortable talking about their experiences should do so. You just never know those whom you might help simply by sharing your story.
Sometimes all we need is to hear that someone else has gone through something similar to feel understood, which then can give us the energy to take the next step.
Compared to others who are battling cancer, my story seems small. But even these “scares” can help us better take care of ourselves and shake us out of complacency. So tonight I will make the commitment to start doing home breast exams again. I hope this story in some way, large or small, helps you as well.
Have you or someone close to you had a health scare? How did it affect your health care regiment?
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Tara B. of Washington (State) USA.
Photo credit is to Audrey Pilato. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Great post! Unfortunately cancer and especially breast cancer is way too prevelent now. I had a friend just like you who actually did get breast cancer at 31 right after the birth of her second child. She went through a double mascectomy, chemo, radiation, hair loss, all while taking care of a newborn baby and two year old. That was seven years now and she is cancer free and going GREAT!
Nicole, I am so glad to hear your friend is ok. What an amazing woman! And with children to care for! With my experience, I also think about how if it wasn’t benign, my casual self check could have been my life saver. If I had waited until my next annual check up scheduled for months later, who knows what the status would have been. We all need to know out bodies and make sure to take our well being into our own hands. Thank you for your comments.
oops…out = our
What horrible timing! Not that there is ever a good time, but to have that turmoil right around your babies birthday…
I’m getting used to biopsies–of the skin that is… I thought I was much too young to get skin cancer, that was for old people, not for a healthy woman in her mid-30s. Wrong. I was devastated by my first “positive” biopsy a few months ago. It’s the “good” type of skin cancer that just has to be cut out, but still.
I now make sure to keep my dermatologist appointments, every three months, to catch any new ones as soon as they become visible. I have to have another removed Thursday. As much as I detest stitches and the waiting period for my biopsy results, sticking around is much more important.
Now for my PSA: get a skin cancer screening. It’s quick, it’s easy, and it can save your life.
Cheers to you.
I am so sorry to hear about your skin cancer, but thank you for sharing your story. In addition to my OB telling me I’m “lumpy,” my dermatologist told me I’m “moley” and need to have annual skin checks too. This is yet another area that I let fall by the wayside since having baby #2. But it’s essential I stay on top of it. You are motivating me to do just that. Many blessing!
I am so glad it was nothing.
As you probably know I work in outpatient oncology. So I see all the women with breast cancer and there are way to many-all ages from young 20’s to late 70’s and 80’s. It hits those with genetic predisposition and those without.
IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE READ.
What I want every woman to know is that a mammogram on its own is not enough. You need a mammogram AND ultrasound and don’t let anyone tell you it’s okay with less. I have seen women whose cancer spread more than it should because they didn’t get an ultrasound. I have also seen women catch their cancer early when they insisted on an ultrasound.
Susie – Thank you for your feedback. I didn’t know to insist on an ultrasound and will make sure to hold on to that piece of advice. And what an amazing thing you do in your job! Truly life changing.
Tara, I am so glad you brought up such an important topic on our blog of moms, the ones who so often put their family’s health before their own.
For the past month I have been having cancer dreams and worries so finally my husband picked up the phone and made an appointment FOR me. I saw my doctor last week and was relieved when she did a skin and breast check with no concerns coming out of it.
For mere piece of mind, we should all be getting regular physicals and at least biennial PAP smears. My doctor informed me that having breast cancer in my family was really no indication that I also would fall victim. Breast cancer is a random and unpredictable disease. The most important preventative measure is to stay current with check-ups and consider regular mammograms after age 40.
Stay well!
Kyla – I am glad to hear your results all came back with good news. Well done to your husband for making the appointment, and well done to YOU for keeping it. Isn’t that what marriage should be about…helping each other through those scary moments and nudging us to take care of ourselves? It’s great that you two did just that. And your comments on regular check ups is so true!
Tara – thank you for sharing your story and to remind us moms that sometimes we need to put ourselves first. Glad to hear that all is well. Thanks for the reminder to do that monthly check.
Thanks Angela! Now I just need to keep following my own advice 😉
Tara,
I’m so glad you shared your story with us. I’m glad it was good news for you, too. This is yet another thing that binds all of us women around the world. Thank you for the reminder to do at home breast exams. It’s so important.
Thanks for this post!
Jen 🙂
Thanks for adding my post for this month, Jennifer, and helping me find a great photo for it 😉 Also, a close friend who is also a nurse reminded me today of how it’s important to not just do the home breast exams, but to do them correctly. Yes, there is a method to it…not just touch and feel whenever. So many things can change your breasts throughout your cycle, so it’s important to check once a month at the exact same time of your cycle (not during your period, because all sorts of things happen during that time) and track what you feel over time to know what’s “normal” for you. From there, you can look for abnormalities. And learn the technique to really probe all the areas of your breasts. This is good advice in order to keep a level head when doing your checks and not jump to conclusions over every little change. If anyone reading this is unsure what I mean, make sure to talk to your healthcare provider about the best ways to do these checks. That said, if you ever have any concerns over anything you feel at any time, still go seek medical advice from your healthcare provider. There are no bad questions or overreactions when it comes to your health. Be proactive!
A really important reminder for us all. So pleased you’re OK and I’ll bet you looked cute in that black sweater! 🙂
Thanks Karyn! And I do think I look cute in the sweater 😉 It’s a bit of a trendy design, though, so my husband (who avoids “trends”) can’t help but scratch his head when he sees me in it. Still, it has sentimental value, so I think I will keep it forever. I appreciate your comments!
What a great story – not because of your scare but because of the reality behind it. Aged 31 with a toddler does not often bring to mind the need for a breast exam – for all the reasons you gave and more; too busy, children come first, not enough money etc etc
So glad everything was okay and thank you for the reminder that we need to take care of ourselves as well
Thanks for your comments, Fiona. At the time, I was just going with it and didn’t think a ton about how young I was, but now looking back, it is kind of surprising to be dealing with something like this so young. Luckily, all was well and continues to be so. I am glad the story resonated with you in some way.
This is so true Tara! We all, as mothers, do so much to take care of our children….make sure they eat right, make sure they go to sleep on time, make and take them to their own doctor appointments. But so many mothers that I know (myself included) skip meals, stay up late doing things around the house or for our family, think about making that annual doctor’s appt (maybe) and keep pushing it off until it’s 2 or 3 years later (I’m already six moths overdue for my own). We can’t take good care of our families if we are not healthy and well rested, so why don’t we remember to do even the little things like a self breast exam? To answer your question, My mother-in-law has had to have a double mastectomy, due to cancer. This was long before I even knew her, so I am not sure how it was found, but she is careful to go to her doctors appts regularly. She recently had a scare and we thought that it had come back, in her lungs, but thank G-d it was benign.
What wonderful timing for this article as well, since it is breast cancer awareness month. My daughter and I walked (well, I walked and she slept in her stroller 🙂 ) to raise money for the American Cancer association last Sunday… What a wonderful time. It was great to see so many people come together for this common cause. Now I need to remember to schedule my checkups and do my self exam! I am so glad for you that you were alright! Thanks for the reminder! 🙂
Wow! So much to respond to in your comments, Maman Aya. Thank you so much for your positive feedack. And WAY TO GO on doing the breast cancer walk with your daughter. That is really awesome, not just to help with the cause but to educate your daughter through literally walking the walk (even if she slept…it counts ;-)). I am so sorry your monther-in-law had to go through what she did, and I am so happy to hear she is well. I have been very, very fortunate to have my immediate family healthy and cancer free, but it is something that can affect anyone anywhere at anytime, so I try to remember to keep on top of things. But even I am late on several appointments at this time. It just feels like such a big deal to find the time, yet it’s such a bigger deal to not take care of myself. So let’s all promise to make those appointments in the near future. Be well!
So glad to hear it’s nothing serious. Thank you for this reminder. I had a benign cyst removed from my breast when I was 17 years old, back then the doctor told me it’s a ‘tumor mammae’ it’s not serious. Your post reminds me I haven’t had a check up done in years. Thank you for this.
You are so welcome! Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am glad it all was benign for you too.
Thank you for sharing Tara. As a volunteer at the Cancer Society for years, I connected with women who had a scare, or was touched by a friend or relative with breast cancer.
After all the time that I spent with those women, I was not really prepared for reality.
A good friend (my daughter’s friend’s mom) is recovering from cancer, but I wasn’t prepared for the depression that she went thropugh. I think talking about it, and making it real, makes a great difference.
I am glad it was ok for your (and your friend). Thanks for sharing and spreading the word; it’s closer to home than we think.
xo
Salma – I really appreciate you sharing your stories. It is closer to home than we think. And I am so sorry your friend has struggled, and she is fortunate to have a good friend like you in her corner…someone who has seen others struggle and can be there to listen and relate. I send happy healthy thoughts to you both.