“Mommy, can I have a cell phone?”
These words were uttered by my five-year-old son James after school one day. He asked the question casually, as if he was asking for a glass of milk. No big deal.
My face involuntarily morphed into an “Are you crazy?” expression, and in a super-sonic voice that only dogs and small children can hear, I said, “No!”
“But Emma has one,” said James, as if that explained everything.
Emma is one of James’ friends at school. Emma is five.
The following day when I dropped James off, I spoke to his teacher.
“Does Emma really have a cell phone?” I asked.
“Yes,” said the teacher with a weary sigh. “It had the whole class in an uproar. We’ve had to make her leave it in the office during school hours.”
Wow. Five-year-olds with cell phones. When I was five, the only phone in my house was the ugly green rotary dial phone attached to the kitchen wall. The term “cell phone” had not even been dreamed up.
This incident made me reflect on the role technology completely failed to play in my childhood. We watched TV shows at the time they aired and if we needed to do research, we went to the library and pored over the encyclopaedia. Assignments were handwritten, and we played music through our clunky Walkmans that played cassette tapes. The day our old rotary dial phone was eked out by the not-even-cordless pushbutton phone was a big day indeed.
I will always remember the day my school got its very first computer, when I was in Grade 11. Most of the high school population was crammed into the newly built and grandly named “Media Centre” for the unveiling. All of us had jostled for a position close to the front of the room, except for my classmate Kate, who had her own computer at home and was regarding the proceedings with an air of boredom. We were usually a bunch of giggling schoolgirls, but on that occasion, you could have heard a pin drop in the room.
After what felt like an eternal wait, a teacher pulled the dark blue dust cover off the hulking shape on the table, revealing a shiny new Apple computer. She pressed a button, and the machine came to life: a bright green cursor flashing on a black background. We were all in awe and couldn’t wait to get our hands on the thing, even though there was already a three-month waiting list for a fifteen-minute turn. Although that first computer was touted as a cutting-edge educational tool, hardly any of us got to use it in any significant way, and it was never a formal part of our curriculum.
By contrast, my children live in a world where technology is inevitable. They have their own computer, and within certain guidelines and restrictions, they explore the Internet. Both of them have been having regular computer lab classes since they were in Kindergarten.
Where some parents avoid the creep of technology in their childrens’ lives, we have chosen to embrace it. We have seen it benefit both of them. James, who initially struggled with reading, is suddenly starting to get it with the help of educational word games. And the benefits for George, who has autism, have been immense. Although the computer is not, by its nature, a social activity, it has helped him make unexpected gains not only in the use of language, but in areas like imaginative play and turn-taking.
For the most part, my kids have balanced, healthy lives. Both of them have a love of the outdoors and physical activity that counters the sedentary effects of computer time. I see a future in which they grow up to be fit and healthy and also fully equipped to take on the world of technology.
What role does technology play in the lives of your children? Have you seen them benefit from it in any way that you may not have expected?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Kirsten Doyle of Toronto, Canada. ย Kirsten can also be found on her blog,ย Running for Autism,ย or on Twitter @Running4autism. You can also connect with her on Facebook.
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/ivanwalsh/4352801673/. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.
This is a great topic! Just recently I was in awe seeing how many little kids here in Indonesia already have their own cell phones. Makes me feel so old for sure. Technology have a good side of course but also a bad side and I’m still struggling to balance it out for my son. He plays games on Nintendo DS or sometimes on my iPhone when we went out and if he’s bored then Angry Bird came to the rescue – (or it rescue me!) but at home he doesn’t use the computer much other than to learn his Phonics Sounds. He does have computer class to learn about letters and stuffs in school. It seems to help him reading too. It’s a delicate balance issue and you seems to have it all figured out so big kudos to you! ๐
I totally get how technology can be as much for our sanity as it is for their enjoyment! Sometimes, when I’m desperate for some “me” time, I will allow my kids to have extra computer time just so I can disappear into the shower! Thanks for reading!
This issue is concerning me. As a speech therapist, I get referrals of “language developmental delay”,and after assessing the child, he is fine, and parents will say: he spends around 5 hours a day in front of the tv, the rest in front of the computer??
they are environmentally deprived of language/communicative language, It is scary for me but some parents don’t see it that way.
It is great that you have limited it to them and focused on productive programmes, wish all parents think like you ๐
The real danger that I see in technology is that it’s so darned easy! For parents who are overwhelmed and exhausted, it’s often just easier to let the kids play on the computer than it is to actually do stuff with them. I would agree that the kind of screen time you are describing would be detrimental. When used correctly and in moderation, technology can have some wonderful results.
We try to limit tech as we use a Waldorf approach with our kids (as in http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/technology/at-waldorf-school-in-silicon-valley-technology-can-wait.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&hp), but I completely agree with you that balance is the key!!
I’m such a technogeek myself that the more practical approach for us is to not so much limit technology, but to establish guidelines around its use. I do completely get the logic behind limiting it, though, and although we don’t impose strict time limits on computer time, we do insist on other activities as well. Thanks for reading, and I love hearing the approaches of other parents!
Like you I grew up without computers and without cell phones – and I remember my first computer, and my first cell phone (I used to say that I didn’t need one, I just didn’t see the point as I had a perfectly good phone attached to my wall at home…) Now though I use it everyday, and my two year old will pick up my cellphone and say ‘hello’… He plays games on the iPad (under strict supervision), watches pictures on my phone, and watches videos on the computer… The best way we have found to use this technology is by having his grandparents and uncle (who lives far awway) talk over the iPad ๐
You’ve hit on a fantastic use of technology! My mom lives in South Africa, and we have frequent video chats using Skype. It’s a way for the kids to stay in touch with their granny, and mom gets to see the kids. Funny how different our lives were as kids!
I know that parents in Poland deal with this kind of issues, as well. My sister is a teacher and she always talks how big of a problem cell phones are.
Personally I am agains having cells in such a young age. In my opinion high school would be a good age to give one to my kid. I know that I am a minority with my opinion. These days parents are ok with giving cell phones to their kids when they are sometime about 10 years old.
I got my first phone when I was in college. I was 20. To have my own computer I went to Great Britain for summer break to earn the money for it because I knew my parents won’t do it. I was 23.
My entire life we had only one TV in the living room and everybody survived.
So far I see in how much technology my daughter is growing up. She is 18 months and she knows the use of remote controler, my husband’s cell phone and she imitates me typing on my laptop every time she gets the chance to play with it.
My view on cell phones is that there is a case for kids to have them when they are beyond the age of being under constant supervision. My kids, at 5 and 8, are always being watched by someone. There is no need for them to have a cell phone, and in any case, I do not believe kids that age are developmentally capable of knowing how to use them responsibly. When my kids reach the point where they are spending time unsupervised, whether it’s walking to school to being home alone, then I will think about getting them a cellphone on a restricted plan. Thanks for reading, and for sharing your views!
When I was in elementary school, my dad used to drop me off early before school started around 7:15am on Tuesday mornings, so I could use the “computer lab” at school. There were 5 computers, and there were 5 of us in the gifted program using them those mornings. I really looked forward to those days!
I believe that people’s brains are wired differently, and what works for some, doesn’t work for others. My husband is super attracted to brain teaser computer games, and he had access to them early on as a child. Myself, on the other hand, I’m not really attracted to any type of computer game. My daughter really enjoys them, like her dad. I let her play them. It’s just when she asks me for help that’s the problem. I’m not so good at them!
Jen ๐
You’re right – people’s brains definitely work in different ways. Part of the reason for that is, as you infer here, what we are exposed to as kids. It just amazes me to watch my kids fly around on the Internet as if they own it.
Hm this is such a great perspective. We don’t embrace technology for our kids (apart from dvd’s) but it’s interesting to see the benefits it can give. We’re not officially opposed, just don’t want them to get sucked in too soon.
I know what you mean. We have to be careful not to cross that line into letting technology take over.
A fantastic resource that I found is a browser for kids called Zacbrowser. It was designed by the grandfather of a child with autism (ZAC = zone for autistic children), and it’s packed with educational games and reading exercises and so on. It gives kids a fun, safe way to “browse” without accidentally clicking onto questionable material. Some of the stuff on there has been immensely beneficial to George, but James loves it as well. It’s really a great tool for any young child. I believe the website is http://www.zacbrowser.com
Nope. I really don’t like the effect that technology has on our kids and believe that tech-adiction will be one of the biggest problems we face in the next 100 years. I do think it is here to stay and am happy for our children to work with technology once they are teenagers.
We have one computer for 5 kids in the house and it is a mighty slow one. I won’t let them at my mac (they have to beg for that lol)
I do have to say their typing skills do exceed mine. ๐